Delusions of grandeur

Alright, here we go…

For a really long time, I wanted to be a tech writer. Before that, though, I wanted to be a band director. Like, since I was 14.

In my short life, I’ve been able to do both (and currently still am a band director). However, the pang to be a tech writer never really left, and I’ve always hoped and entertained the idea that if I had the opportunity to write, I’d take it.

It’s something I really wanted.

Getting out of writing wasn’t a really pretty business for me. I was young, I didn’t handle myself properly, blahblahblah. It happens. That never stopped me from leaving comments on posts and whatnot, trying to show I was still around, more mature, and more than willing to come back.

I guess being around doesn’t matter if you have more than a million people reading your stuff, though.

With all of the CES stuff winding down, I decided to make one of my traditionally playful comments, so when a picture of a writing team got posted, I comment, “Put me in, coach!”

That comment got deleted, and needless to say, it made me a bit sad.

I think, ultimately, it was a good thing, though, because it finally hammered the last nail in the coffin of me thinking of being a tech writer (or at least a tech writer for my most favorite network).

It was as if the Universe collectively said, “Move on. It’s over.”

I mulled this post over in the following hours, deciding what that meant to me and how I wanted to handle it.

Like I mentioned before, I wanted to be a band director well before I ever wanted to be a tech writer. When I graduated college, an amazing middle school offered me a job, and that was it. I took the job I was offered, and am employed for it.

I do love it, too. The kids are great, our program is healthy, massive (400 kids!), the district is one of the best in the state… Well, the list goes on.

And I’ve always wanted to be a great band director, too. I’ve always wanted to be one of the best, and that’s something I still actively pursue.

I couldn’t be a great band director if I was a tech writer.

As melancholy as it makes me to admit, I’m shelving the idea of being some big-time tech writer, with lots of readers and fans, and people to comment on whatever I post. I just don’t think it’s in the cards for me, anymore.

I’ll just continue to carve out my little niche here on Google+, or on my blog, try and sell Android merch through Android Etch, and if I can ever find the time, start writing, little by little, for Gadget Fit.

I think I can handle writing for that, as long as I don’t expect it to explode into this giant monster website that people adore. That’s good, I think.

I always knew one of those careers would have to give in favor of the other, and I suppose this was decided a few years ago, but I still can’t help but feel a little weird, finally closing the door on this little idea I’ve had.

Funny, too. I never thought someone deleting my comment would lead to such an epiphany.

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